2015

Forry Mango Left vs Moulton Drama

As I sit at this table listening to David Bowie[1], my left hand scrolls down my roster page and my right hand slips into my Lululemon trainer pants and I start playing with my Duke Johnson Jr…. it’s been a while boys, but the sand has been flowing through the hourglass, and has pushed through the funnel[2] and now the time has Cum. Weekend in Galena Fantasy Football is back babay babay uh!! ::eggplant::

As I am foggy rather groggy[3], I take a sip of this Venice - certified organic Groundwork coffee blend. I look at the League Overview page and see the League Pick em commish is no longer there…but…but.. I thought payouts were for life?? Eric Forry now joins the list of WIG wolfman brothers[4] that have played in this league (The MoultAn’s, The Watts’, and the Nardiello’s… remember when Matt played? teehee)

As I take a bite out of my pastured scrambled eggs mixed with grass-fed ground beef and organic peppers that were cooked with ghee (man, paleo is so much better than vegan! What was I thinking?) I go over the new rules - the bonus points, the new flex position, and especially #5.. dat new 2 year CBA with 2 keepers or 1keep/1supp, with a supplemental draft order weighted from previous season record… I mean, what’s so hard to understand about that one? It seems pretty crystal to me.

As I take a big slurp of this Power Green smoothie, I look at all the past winners:

Jon (3)

Steve (2)

Brad (2)

Andy (2)

Zuehlke

Ryan

Euge

Pat (look at pay getting a ring!)

As I stroke my Meatstick[5] I notice all the active winning streaks that are on the line this season:

Forry - 4 game winning streak vs Dave

Brad - 4 game winning streak vs Forry

Andy - 5 game winning streak vs Scuba

Scuba - 6 game winning streak vs Watts

Pat - has NEVER beaten Scuba (0-4)

As I pull out my now diamond hard Andre Johnson, I look at the Watts vs Brad matchup. Will this be there year that Watts finally is able to kick Brad out of the league?? Brad owns the 8-5 lifetime record against him. With a huge game by #GronkPhunk[6] this could help watts get back into the playoffs (he’s missed the last 3 years in a row) Only Zuehlke and Andy hold the record for most consecutive seasons missing the playoffs with 4. What Moulton Drama will unfold this year?? Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Let’s get this show on the road!![7]

As my Megatron is about to splooge, I look up and see a dozen people starring at me. I see the waiters talking to the managers. I see one of them grab a phone and start calling someone… and I start thinking, maybe coming to Hugo’s restaurant to write this was a bad idea..

Gulp.

The Game of the Week is brought to you by… The Farmhouse. Have you ever wanted to go over to the Palace, but it was closed? Have you ever wanted to take a massive Nessie at the Wall, but Ryan said you couldn’t come over because he had work early? (but you knew he was going to play FF7 on his iPhone 6+ while using the genji glove with Cyan’s 4th ability so he hits 8 times) Did you ever want to stop by Nancy’s Nest, but Rob wouldn’t let you in? Have you ever wanted to see what the new House Zuehlke looks like, but knew you are forbidden to even step foot near the front gate? Have you ever just wanted to drive over to the Crackhouse and pull resin hits, drink Brad’s beer, and smoke your secret stache[8] while waiting all night[9] for Brad to come home from work, but Ed was there? Well, Welcome this is the Farmhouse… where you are always welcome… and there’s no Ed.

Notes

[1] referring to the Phish song

[2] Sand tease!

[3] Simple in a jar tease!

[4] referring to Phish song

[5] actually… that’s just referring to my penis

[6] referring to the Gronk Madden vid playing Funk Jam 12/3/97

[7] AC/DC bag tease!

[8] referring to Phish song

[9] Waiting all night tease!

Royal with Cheese vs Airtime023

Mike: Hello everyone, and welcome back to the World Poker Tour, I’m Mike Sexton alongside Vince Van Patten. What a Heads up Matchup we have for you today! It’s Brother vs Brother.

Vince: Oh, is it Matt vs Ryan?

Mike: Nope, Matt stopped playing in 2006.

Vince: Oh, Scott and Brad?

Mike: Nope, guess again.

Vince: Patt Watts.

Mike: Pat and who else?

Vince: Watts.

Mike: Who?

Vince: umm.. you know, Watts. uhhm, fuck, what’s his first name… OH Chris.

Mike: Oh… nope, not them.

Vince: Okay, then it’s Eric Forry

Mike: Eric—

Vince: Eric AND Forry.

Mike: Forry?

Vince: Jesus Mike, you know, Forry.. uhhh gawd what’s his first name??.. um, I seriously don’t remem— oh, Jason! Sorry, I’m on my third Old Fashioned.

Mike: That’s right! Eric and Jason play their very first ever Heads up matchup against each other. And since this is week 2, you know what that means..

Vince: Sorry Mike, I stopped listening to you… I just can’t take my eyes off Shana Hiatt’s rack… Jesus fucking Christ dat dress… I want to be like a male anglerfish and attach to her with my mouth permanently. Eventually our skin will fuse and her circulatory system will merge with mine. In time my only responsibility will be to produce sperm for her. I will latch onto her breasts as my chosen site. I cannot fathom how delicious it must feel to have her blood, teeming with nutrients she metabolized for me, coursing through my arteries.

Mike: …. umm alrighty then.. well, we will see this Heads up Matchup again in Week 13! The last time a Forry joined WIG FF, Jason made the playoffs, but lost in the first round.

Vince: Sorry Mike, what did you say? I was gazing at Kimberly Lansings ass… Jesus.. I haven’t got a boner that fast since I looked at a freshman/sophomore girls volleyball team photo…. I’m just joking, that didn’t happen.. *gulp*

Mike: okay… Out of the 8 players to win a WIG FF championship, 3 of those winners are in the Brothers Club. The last two winners also happen to be part of the Brothers Club. Which means a Forry is destined to win.

Vince: Wow, look at this, Forry…sorry, I mean, Jason, is going all in with an Ace/Queen suited!

Mike: Ahh, that’s called the “Doyle Brunson” for those of you amateur players.

Vince: Oh and look at this, Eric is calling with a King/Jack suited. Wow!

Mike: We call that “Kojak” for all you amateur players.

Vince: No, Mike that’s the “Jason Forry sink fap hand”

Mike: Why is that?

Vince: Jacking off.

Mike: …

Vince: Jack / King offsuit haha

Mike: oh..haha. Hey that’s pretty good! Well, this is anyones game. Jason has a 60% chance of winning. Which is 4 to 6 odds.

Vince: Everyone knows that Mike *rolly eye*

Mike: Here we go! Here comes the flop! Which Forry will win it all and own a Ring, Wear that Belt, Drink from the Stone Cold Steve Austin water bottle?? We have one Brother that DOESN’T pull his back when lifting his golf bag out of the trunk, that DOESN’T rip out a chunks of stomach hair that gets stuck on his belt, that DOESN’T have dandruff that can cover an entire beach… and the other Brother that puts the #Forryslaw in Murphy’s Law. Who will win? Vince, what do you think?

Vince: Jesus… look at the rack on Lynn Gilmartin. Damn… I’ll tell you what I think, the WPT knows how to hire a hot hostess. Am I right Mike?? Look at that boob! It’s ready to pop out! So fucking ripe. I want to check it like a melon at the Kings Landing market. Je veux la baiser.

TO BE CONTINUED….

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HateJapaneseStudents vs The Galaxy

Oops, wrong year! I thought this was 2007. This was the last time these two have met when both (BOTH?!) started the season 2-0. This is what we’ve been waiting for fellas!

KHOFF Khak Khak!!

It’s 2am in Japan right now… what is watts still doing up?? He’s not just Gronk Phukin in a Love Hotel while he Nut Busts his Phunk onto a He/She Asian. The CEO of Fantasy Football Consulting Inc. is here to win!

KAFF KAFFF!!

Is it really his Destiny to win this year, or should Forry go back to playing Destiny? He’s been raiding the sh*t out of the waivers/free agents. He’s already made a league high 14 moves, which is on pace to break Scuba’s record for most moves made in a season with 90 (Forry is 2nd all time with 74 - which coincidentally is the exact amount of job interviews he’s had this week) And since these two teams were the only teams to reach the 100 point club in Week 2, they are both on pace to score 100 points or higher in each game of the season. The only other teams to do that in WIG history:

2004 Kelly Kelly Kelly (Scott) 122.04 ppg

2003 pirates of the nfl (Ryan) 127.54 ppg

KOUGH KHOFF Kaft Kwwww Kwww

It's Forry Mango Left vs Airtime023

It’s #rdogasaur2016 vs Raw Dogg Blaster

It’s Gau vs Kefka

Watts hasn’t had a boner like this since he ruined that surprise party in his Nurses Chat. Who’s boner will be all over who’s back cum Sunday Morning??

The Game of the Week is brought to you by… Have you started smoking again cause you can’t get weed, and Chu-hi drinks just aren’t giving you that buzz anymore? Well, try General Grievous throat lozenges. They fight back inflammation and helps one resist the Force attacks of bacteria for up to 8 hours. Don’t bother your brother, roomates, or even the entire neighborhood! Try General Grievous and be cough free.

Bunker! Bunker! Read all about it!! History has been made in the WIG FF League!! For the first time ever, 3 teams have started the season with 3 straight losses. (Dave, Steve, and Eric) GULP

Can you start 0-4 and still make the playoffs?? Well, can you start 0-3 and still make it? Here’s a Stuart Scott Stat for ya: Teams that started 0-3 made the playoffs 60% of the time.

2012 Forry Mango (Ryan) - made playoffs and finished in 2nd place

2005 I Miss Torii (Scuba) - made the playoffs and ended up winning it all

Okay, so these 3 teams don’t need to be on tilt just yet. But what about starting 0-4? You can’t possibly make the playoffs starting 0-4 can you?? Well, here’s a Stuart Scott Stat for ya: If you start the season 0-4, you will make the playoffs 57% of the time.

2009 Robert Baratheon (Watts) - made the playoffs and took 4th place

2005 TIME (Ryan) - made the playoffs and took 3rd place

What’s the worst starting record to make the playoffs?

2010 Team Chloe (Ryan) - started 0-6 - but lost in the first round

Wow, but is 0-6 the worst start ever?? In 2011, Ninja-Turtle Robbies (Z) started the season 0-10. Oh boy….But is that the longest losing streak? Welp, 2009 - No Ceilings (Rob) won his first two games, then lost last 11. #wow

Not since 2007 have we had 3 teams start the season 3-0 - Daviators (Dave) Tiger Beat (Scott) and The Galaxy (Forry)

Who has had the best start to the season? Here’s some more Stuart Scott Stats for ya:

2008 - EPIC FAIL 2 (Steve) - won first 9 games

2007 Daviators (Dave) won first 8 games

2002 Pink Bandits (Dave) won first 8 games

Who’s had the best finish to the season??

2008 - EPIC FAIL (Forry) - won last 10 games

League Pick’em Champ vs Daviators

Dave plays against his former Chicago Roomate of 4 years Scottie this weekend. There will be no Party Planning, drunk pizza runs, or late night cuddling in this game. Dave and Scottie both have QB’s on a bye. Scott picked up Vick as a FA and gave him 12 points (watts used his #1 waiver spot and picked up Flacco who gave him 8 points teehee giggle giggle) Dave will use Sam Bradford. Will he show up this week? Dave’s RB’s did, and gave him 20 points each. Can Dave end his 3 game losing streak as well as his 3 game losing streak against Scott??

It doesn’t matter how you start - whether its 3-0 or juggling some guys balls. Or how you finish - whether it’s on a crazy winning streak or RD blasting in some 23 year old coworker that ends your cold streak. If you want to be in the playoffs, it starts now! It’s that in-between when all the fun happens - whether it’s playing the right guy, finding a sleeper FA, timing your waivers, or inviting Audra Martin downstairs in your basement with all the lights turned off because she doesn’t like getting naked with the lights turned on… Anything can happen in WIG Fantasy Football!

The Game of the Week is brought to you by…. Dave’s Crazy Pending Nuptials Weekend!! Take lots of photos peas. I need this. I want to add them to the vault and use them to make memes in 5 years ;P Have fun and be safe. And if you’re not safe… name it after me ;)

Is…Is Beef Playing vs The Tantrum Returns

Okay, let’s open a new Tab and go to the League Overview page -> Season: 2014 -> Schedule -> … uh, scroll down the page a little bit… just scroll.. the scroll bar? It’s not on, it only appears when you’re scrolling, just use two fingers and swipe… no, swipe the other way, yep, okay now click on Schedule and… no, click, not tap. You’re tapping. Click. Nope, see, you clicked too hard. The Force Touch is on. No, you’re tapping again… click…Click you f*cking dumb piece of sh*t applecustie!! Move, just let me do it. F*ck this, I’m taking my 15 (20 teehee) minute break-> Okay, click on #MOTY2014 Champ -> Look at Week 3 vs The Tantrum Returns.

Scuba defeated Zuehlke 76.42 - 76.40 last season, which made that the closest margin of Victory in WIG FF history! The Tantrum Returns made the playoffs and finished the season 7-6, while #MOTY2014 Champ finished with a 6-7 record and failed to make the playoffs. #wow

#SSS Here’s the top 5 closest games in WIG FF history:

2014 The Tantrum Returns (Scuba) 76.42, #MOTY2014 Champ (Z) 76.40 - (0.02)

2009 SuperBearsSuperBowl (Forry) - 82.96, Robert Baratheon (Watts) 82.91 - (0.05)

2005 gumbatti (Matt) - 100.63, I Miss Torii (Scuba) 100.58 - (0.05)

2007 H3|204104|\| (Ryan) - 86.41, Latin Lover (Andy) 86.31 - (0.10)

2007 HateJapaneseStudents (Watts) - 74.12. The Galaxy (Forry) 73.98 - (0.14)

From 2006-2011, Scuba defeated Z six straight games. #SSS - Longest winning streak ever against a team is 8 games - from 2007-2013 Jon never lost to Zuehlke. #whoa not sure which one is worse.. that? Or Forry’s cold streak?? With an all time Heads Up record of 10-7, Scuba has dominated this organization. Even with a 1-3 record to start the year, he has been projected to win every game so far (including this one)

Zuehlke is 4-0 for the first time in his career. He hasn’t had a start like this since Forry’s Future Boss went 3-1 in 2009. (Hmm, If Zuehlke interviewed Forry, would Zuehlke give him the job if he #shartweeked??) This week his boy Ivory is on a bye, and he’ll be without Beastmode. With a baby on the way, and lots of #babysharts to follow, can he continue to stay on top of the League standings?? All it takes is just one game. One game can be your season. You gotta make every one count. It’s Dad vs Dad-to-be in this Legendary matchup!

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*Que Funk Jam 12/3/97*

Hello, and welcome to the Game of the Week podcast. I’m your sexy almost-but-probably gay host Scott BAO. Hiiiiii :) That was supposed to sound like Kirby. KIRBY KIRBY KIR KIR KIRRRRRBY. Mmmm, this Blue Yeti mic sounds purrrrfect. So, thanks for tuning in today everyone. I know you could be doing other things with your time… probably more important things than listening to this podcast, like: watching football games, watching the Cubs, having sex with your wife, jerking off in Ryan’s bathroom sink, dropping a Nessie in Ryan’s bathroom toilet. But hey, you’re here and YOU CAN NEVER LEAVE MUHAHAHAH

okay, I probably lost a few listeners. Definitely lost a bunch of followers. I don’t blame them. Gawd, I hate starting.. okay…

I have a special guest with me today - Kelly’s Cat! And nope, I’m not talking about Ryan’s team in 2009 teehee. No, welcome Kelly’s cat Kidden! *MoultAn clap* Hey Kidden want to say hi? Kidden? Kidden where the fu.. oh, he’s hiding behind the couch again. Well, he might not make it on the show today.

Alright, so @WIGCreeper tweeted and asked me - “On the League Overview page, the Toyota Biggest Blowout says that League Pick’em Champ beat JonBar by 47.76 points. What’s the Stuart Scott Stat for biggest win ever?” #SSS

Great question! I Love stats. I get a little boner and tickle my ass when I think about them teehee. Okay, so the Biggest win ever goes back to 2004 when Kelly Kelly Kelly (Scott) beat Jessica Bushek (watts) 159.13 - 33.13. That’s a blowout of 126 points! Oh and I’ll throw in another #SSS for ya @WIGCreeper, watts score of 33.13 is the lowest scoring game in WIG history. Boom. Talk about a Blowout. That’s more blowing than Audra Martin does in the Tennessee Titans lockeroom! haha… actually I shouldn’t say that. Gawd I hope she doesn’t listen to this. I’ll just edit this part out. Damn, thank god I don’t do this live. Okay so Hey Scott, make sure you edit this before you post this.

Man, there’s just too many good matchups this week. All these matchups get my balls tingly and I want to shove that organic zucchini that I got at Whole Foods up my ass… haha okay, I gotta stop saying shit like this. I’m really starting to sound gay… okay cut this peas. Edit this part out before posting kay thanks. Well guys, I have no idea who the game of the week is. If you want to find out go to @WIGFFGOTW and you can also follow me on youtube, Twitch, Instagram, Pariscope, and WeekendinGalena.commmm OWWWWW!! FUCK!! Kidden you piece of shhhh… he fucking just ran out and clawed my lean ass fucking forearm. Gawd this is deep.. wow, I got a bleeder here. This is not good… owwww

*Que Funk Jam 12/3/97*

The Game of the Week is brought to you by… @WarlockSchool. If you want to listen to a podcast about Destiny, Madden, Hearthcrack, Battlefront, Mario Maker, Until Dawn, and other stuff… make sure you check out other podcasts first, but if you already listened to those, and have nothing else to listen to, and you’re bored waiting in line at the bank, and you want to listen to the Angelic voice of Patrick Watts, then subscribe and follow @WarlockSchool @Medykuss @NinjaPancakeGo @SweetScoped and listen to them daily! Thanks!!

Hi and welcome to the GOTW, this is Scott BAO —— no, you’re pronouncing it wrong. It’s not the actor Scott Bao. It’s BAO (Bad Ass Order) gawd why does everybody keep saying it wrong.

What an exciting matchup we have for you this week! But before I get to that, first let’s take a look at the season so far. If you’re paying more attention to your Madden season instead.. or if you’re spending more time playing with yourself.. or if you’re too busy with your wife and 4 kids.. I mean 1 or 2 kids.. sorry I forgot which league I was in for a second. (damn, is the time when Watts came to Cali and we smoked 20 hours a day for 3 days straight finally catching up to me??)

So let me catch you up. Wow last time I saw this many people get hurt was when Watts got the Killionaire! medal in Halo 3. Ryan and Jon missed the playoffs last year. Currently on to bottom of the league, can they turn their season around? #SSS Ryan has never missed the playoffs two years in a row. Jon did that for the first time last year. Will it happen to him 3 years in a row?? Watts missed the playoffs the last 3 years. Will he make it 4?? Well, with a 7-1 record, probably not. I mean, a win this week might guarantee a star next to… wait, I accidentally said guarantee…Whoops I didn’t want to say guarantee. Sorry, I don’t know why I said guarantee. Gulp

***************WIG Sexy Fantasy Moves Updates****************

Forry still leads the League with the most moves made in a season thus far with 32. But, right underneath him, and next to his balls is Scott with 26 moves. Butt… yep, that’s right, next to his butt is his own brother with 23 moves. Who will be the WIG Sexy Fantasy Moves Champ?? This has a happy ending written all over it :)

Forry Jackfruit vs All Ashed Out

The 120$ first place payout is still up for grabs boys! This game might be THE GAME that decides who has a chance to get paid… and who’s hoping to make the playoffs and not play Scuba in the first round and get a 3rd place finish or higher. Watts is looking to win both, and here’s why:

1st place regular season - 120$

1st place in the playoffs - 300$

Highest amount you win - 420$

#whoa

All Ashed Out might not be ashed out just yet! There might be little more spark left in that bowl.

Bye Bye Bye… no, not the song. Scott’s bench. All his starting RBs are on a bye. At 5-3, a win by Scott keeps him in the running for that number 1 spot. These two have been battling way longer than WIG Fantasy Football. This rivalry began all the way back when these two played Tether Angel in the front of the Candy Store. The game got so intense that Watts smacked the Tether Angel so hard it broke the neon sign faster than a Candy Store Shit. What’s a Candy Store Shit?? Well, take a backpack and throw it up in the air. If you’re able to run to the bathroom that’s 10 steps away, and push out a Nessie worth writing a novel about, and let out a shart that makes #ShartWeek look more like a #ShartAttack, and you do that before the backpack hits the floor… then that’s a Candy Store Shit.

Scott is 10-7 Lifetime against Watts. These two BAO4Life brothers once battled against each other (Only for a couple Pay-Per-Views, before rejoining with the original BAO4Life members) Now they play each other in Fantasy, which for them, could be their Game of the Year.

The Game of the Week is brought to you by…. FILLING.

Taking that to the grave ;P

Hey there, welcome back to GOTW….Sorry bout that, I got really excited about Rivalry week all of a sudden. Man, I’ve never seen my penis get so erect so fast like that! Wait, that’s not true… Anywhooooo getting a little bit off topic…

Derek Zoolander vs Good Moulton Genes

Soooo I’m looking at all the matchups and I … I guess I blew myself too early cause I don’t really see that many good rivalries… eh

Well… I mean, DUH, of Course we have Scuba vs Brad playing… Of Course we do. You have to. I mean, this is one of the biggest rivalries of all time in the whole wide world of sports!! How is Scuba enjoying his Sundays now huh? Man, you know when he stepped down as commish, you know the thought of being free of all the MoultAn Drama, all those MoultAn Tantrums was definitely on his mind when he made his decision. From ’06-’09 how many times did Scuba have to manually change Brad’s lineup last minute?? How many arguments were made on the league message board?? Or how about dealing with things that only Brad would do - like when Brad barely missed the playoffs* and dumped his entire roster into Free Agency faster than a Galena Throw Up. What’s a Galena Throw Up you might ask?? Well, it’s when you’re hungover from getting drunk and humping all your best friends from the night before, and while you’re waiting for your food at lunch… you instantly throw up in your mouth and you dart to the bathroom as fast as you can. Down 3 flights of stairs, praying for no-one to be in the bathroom.. and if you make it there before the puke hits the water. That’s a Galena Throw Up.

Right now I see 2 battles going on in the League. Teams on the bottom trying to claw their way into the playoffs, and teams at the top of the league trying to win out and claim that 120$ first place prize. Oh yeah, first place matters now boyz. Gimme dat cash. That’s XBONE money for Scott. That’s Casino money for Forry. That’s diaper money for Zuehlke.. oh yeah, Andy and Scuba can tell ya that. That’s he/she Asian 2am hotel money for Watts. That’s money Eric could pay Forry back with… no, wait, football playoffs are coming up, he needs that money for Packers front row seats.

Stuart Scott Stat: Here’s the list of the past #1 seeds in league History.

’02 - Andy

’03 - Dave

’04 - Scott

’05 - Scott

’06 - Brad

’07 - Dave

’08 - Forry

’09 - Eug

’10 - Forry

’11 - Pat

’12 - Zuehlke

’13 - Andy

’14 - Brad

Andy and Pat know that getting that #1 seed doesn’t matter because it doesn’t guarantee you’ll win. Yeah, 300$ sounds a lot better than 120$

Out of all those #1 seeds, only Andy in 2002 won it all. So since 2003, no number one seed has won the Championship. #whoa

With Zoolander 2 coming out next year, Andy has come full circle in FF. If we’re looking at the last 3 years alone, here’s what’ s on his resume:

2012 - 1st place

2013 - 2nd place

2014 - 3rd place

Holy Shitballs. Yeah.. not too bad. Remember, he was the first one to win it all in 2002. Everything is coming back back around. He even has a CD coming out at the end of the year called, “Andy Z: Cum Sing with Me” which is a bunch of songs he sang throughout High School and College. Tracks include, “The Thunder Rolls,” “U + Me = Us,” “Trouble with a capital T” - with special guest Harold F*cking Hill, and his newest rap single “Diggs on my Flex Diggs Diggs on my Flex.”

Did anyone else notice his trade with Eric?? No wonder he’s rapping about this guy. Adding a nice WR to an already stacked lineup, means Andy is getting ready for that deep.. deep, forcibly-yet-gentle playoff push. And with only 4 games left, and still no Star next to anyones name, playoff spots are back on the menu boyz!!!

But wow, can you Imagine if Andy wins it all this year?? Can you Imagine that?? Let’s put our tutus on, apply some eye shadow, and let’s make believe for a second..

It would make him a 3 time champion (The only other team to win 3 times is Jon) That could easily make him go down as one of the greatest ever. You may laugh, but, I mean, what more do you want from him?? What more does he have to prove?? It would be his second win in 4 years. If we ended this league after this season, he has to go down as the Greatest Team/organization of all time! Put him in the Hall of Fame Please!! You have my vote!! I mean, you have to put him in the conversation don’t you? What he's done with his career. Now, hey, there’s still plenty of games he has to go through to do that. No doubt about it. And that first step is against Pat…

But if we’re going to keep playing make believe, then hold on just a second so I can put on some earrings and this necklace… this is fun!… Okay, I’m ready.

..what if Pat won this year?? Can you Imagine that?? I mean, if you’re talking about the Hall Of Fame, then if Pat wins this year.. that makes it Back2Back Championships. If that happens, you know I’m getting up early the next morning and waiting in line at Dicks to buy that T-shirt. The only other player that has that T-shirt is Scuba (’05, ’06) and that Team/Organization isn’t no scrub either. Scuba’s already in the HOF, he’s proven too much already. The only other Team/Organization on that same level is Jon… but If Andy or Pat win again, they have to be in that conversation. Hey, don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of guys at the top of the rankings that haven’t won a ring yet and would Love to win. If anyone of them does, Great. Good for you. Congratulations.. About. Damn. Time. Welcome to the club. Took you long enough. But… great organizations are only talked about if they have multiple rings.

Andy and Pat, YOUR SEASON STARTS RIGHT NOW. YOUR DESTINY (wink wink wink pat) STARTS RIGHT NOW. It’s Rivalry Week fellas. It’s Week 10. And THIS is when Rivalries are born!!

The Game of the Week is brought to you by… baby OZ. Welcome baby Owen Zuehlke born November 10, 2015. The Zuehlke blood-line will continue to thrive in WIG FF for generations to come! Congratulations!!

*In 2011, Brad missed the playoffs because Scuba didn’t let a trade go through or something… Dave picked up Tony Romo (one of the players Brad dropped) and started him against Scott in the first round of the playoffs. The final score:

Daviators - 116.04 points

Bad 4 Life - 114.48 points

116.04 - 114.48 = 1.56 points

Sanchez (the QB that Dave would have started if Brad didn’t drop Romo) - 25.64 points.

Romo - 28.84 points

25.64 - 28.84 = - 3.2 points

Scott would have won that year

#terrible

Scott - Hello and welcome to Another Game of the Week! We have a special guest on the show for you today. He was voted the Biggest Weekend in Galena Fantasy Football Fan on the planet…the planet?! Wow, that’s impressive. Well, here he is… Chester.. Grant!

Chester - Hi, oh my god I can’t believe I’m actually on this show! This is Super crazy!! And you look so much cuter in person! omg

Scott - uhhh, thanks.. you… thank you. Well, congratulations. Now, I gotta ask, what contest did you win??

Chester - Okay, so, General Grievous Throat Lozenges were having a contest and basically ——

Scott - Oh, so, for you audience members, that was the sponsor in Week 3 GOTW, okay go on..

Chester - so basically whoever could guess who the GOTW would be for each week.. and also pick the winner for each GOTW.. AND whoever got the most correct after the first 10 games of the season wins the prize of being a special guest on The Game of the Week 11 episode!

Scott - oooohhh okay. SEE guise! That’s why you really need to support those sponsors!! If we don’t have them…welp, the show actually DOESN’T go on. If you don’t see a GOTW some week, it’s not because Scott BAO is wacking it instead of writing one up… no, it’s because we had no sponsor that week. But.. I’m sure he was probably just training for the 6, 12, 18. 24 Degen Challenge. Okay, so I gotta ask, how many did you get right?

Chester - All of them.

Scott - Ppphffff Wait, wait, wait, hold on a second. You got all the games right?!?

Chester - yessem

Scott - wow… that’s amazing! How did you do it? Did you like, flip a coin? Or rub your fingers on your ballsack? I do that sometimes. Whenever I need to make a really difficult decision I rub my nuts. Should I buy unsweetened Almond milk for my morning coffee.. or unsweetened vanilla Hemp milk?? I’ll just rub them right in the middle of the aisle. People do that all the time at Whole Foods.

Chester - Mmm now THAT’S an image I won’t forget… and I’m okay with that tee he ;)

Scott - uhhh yikes…

Chester - Yeah, I know these guys preTTy well. Not in like a creepy way or anything haha hahah jajajaja .. I’m kidding, I’m about the same age as them. I grew up in Galena.

Scott - Okay, so let me get this straight here. It says your great great great grandfather was Ulysses S. Grant. And your Uncle owned General Grants restaurant in Galena, IL before he sold it years ago which is now called Chef Ivo’s Place Inc.

Chester - Yessem, that is correct.

Scott - Holy Cow, Wikipedia is awesome!

Chester - I’ve been watching this league from the beginning. I know everything about these guys. I used to see them all the time at the restaurant! I would coincidentally be there when they ate there. Here’s a #SSS for you: They hold-

Scott - love that hashtag-

Chester - the record for most mozzarella sticks ordered in one sitting.. 36! Oh yeah, they were all quite hungover haha lots of Boys at that table.. So many Boys in that group. You can imagine what they were doing the night before.. the humping and friction, and the slapping sounds of tummy sticks.. Mmmmmm

Scott - Oh geez, now that’s an image I’m definitely not going to forget.. and I’m NOT okay with that.

Chester - My Aunt also owns the Eagle Ridge Resort and Spa. So I would always coincidentally stay at the house right next door to them every single time they ever stayed there.

Scott - That’s a tad too creepy don’t you say? I mean.. every single time?

Chester - aww no.. perfectly harmless. There was that one time I coincidentally happened to be at Spikes restaurant for lunch at the same time as them. And I accidentally watched the whole time while Ryan attempted to stuff a handful of gummy bears onto his chest while he slowly licked and sucked on them before twisting them into his nipple hair.. mMMmm

Scott - Eeewww, gawd.

Chester - Yeah, and this other time I saw them in town, and watched as they bought my dad’s old bowling set from the antique shop. And watched as they played it in the middle of the street. And when they got back to their house in Eagle Ridge, Jon rolled one of the balls too hard and it got lost in the bushes… except that it didn’t. I was coincidentally in the bushes at the same time facing in the direction of the house watching them with my hand on my peni——

Scott - Whoa, hey, ahhgh, god, what the.. you were just watching them??

Chester - Coincidentally.

Scott - I … I really don’t think these are coincidentally’s sir. Sounds a lot like stalking. And were you masterbating? Well, let’s move on shall we? We’re near the end of the show, so I gotta ask, who do you think I’m picking as GOTW this week?

Chester - Forry Coconut vs Forry Watermelon

Scott - I’m sorry … but… that is the RIGHT answer! Wow you are good at this. Alright, well, I gotta ask, who do you think will win?

Chester - Forry Coconut.

Scott - Okay, let’s see if you’re right. Well that’s the show folks! I want to say thank you to Chester Grant for being here today. And a special thanks to General Grievous Throat Lozenges for making this happen. It was .. uh kinda weird. This is probably the last time we have unexpected guests on my show..

Chester - Hey Scott, where are you watching the games after this? Can I come with and we can watch together?

Scott - uh no, I actually got some training to do. Sorry.

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Well, here we go boyz! Last game of the s33z!! And what a great f*ckin season it was. For those of you with stars next to your name… welcome back! So many great moments this year, lets take a look at all the streaks that ended:

Brad’s 4 game winning streak against Forry - gone

Andy’s 5 game winning streak against Scuba - gone

Scuba’s 6 game winning streak against Watts - gone

Watts streak of missing the playoffs 3 years in a row - gone

Now lets take a look at the streaks still going strong:

Forry now has a 5 game winning streak against Dave

Pat has NEVER beaten Scuba. He’s 0-5 Lifetime against him (The only team he has not beaten yet in his 5 year WIG FF career)

Brads streak of surviving another year without getting kicked out - 9

Number of underwear I own with bacon strip streaks - 7 (shart week really hurt me this year)

YOU BETTER WIN OUT vs. Frequency lvl 2

I mean, did I really have to say it?? Everyone knew this game was going to be the GOTW right when the games ended on Sunday night. You can’t have a better game to end the season than this. If Jason wins… he can get up from the table, say goodbye to Mr. Moulton and cash out those 120$ worth of black chips. Guaranteed the #1 seed for the 3rd time in WIG FF history (more than any other player ever) But.. if he loses, his brother has a chance to squeak into the dance. Hey, Eric has it right.. YOU. BETTER. WIN. OUT. Now, obviously for him, he needs Scuba, Zuehlke or Andy to lose. And let’s be real, Scuba is in no matter what. Put a star next to his name already! He’s got enough points (highest in the league) to almost guarantee his safety. That’s why even a loss with lots of points is still considered a win to me. Especially when it comes down to the final game of the year. Currently Scuba has 83 points more than Eric. So if you're Eric, you kinda need a loss from either Andy or Z.

So now is the part of the show where I take some callers… Joe from Rockford you’re on the show. What’s up man?

Joe - Hey Scott BAO, who had the best first round pick?

Scott - Thanks Joe.. well, lets take a look at the first round of the draft again:

1. AP - Eric
2. Jamaal Charles - Brad
3. Le’veon Bell - Dave
4. Andrew Luck - Ryan
5. Eddie Lacy - Pat
6. Marshawn Lynch - Z
7. Antonio Brown - Forry
8. Demaryius Thomas - Scuba
9. Odell Beckham Jr. - Scott
10. CJ Anderson - Jon
11. Rob Gronkowski - Watts
12. Dez Bryant - Andy

Wow…. 7 out of the 12 first round picks went out with injuries this season. I haven’t heard of this many injuries since… well.. actually it was last night when forry was complaining about how much his back hurt from doing the stair climber for 3.5 miles. Man, remember when everyone thought AP was too risky to take as the first pick? Boy were they wrong. You have to go AP. He’s averaging 15 ppg. Pete from Elizabeth, you’re on the show. What’s your question?

Pete - Hey Scott BAO, love the show. Hey, so my question is who is the team that you don’t want to face in the first round of the playoffs?

Scott - If Eric Forry makes the playoffs.. watch out. I would NOT want to play him. He’s got, in my mind, the Fantasy Football MVP on his team - AP. The last 4 games his team is averaging a league high 102 points per game. I’m looking at his roster now, and man… every player on his team has upside. He’s playing textbook fantasy football right now. Picking up the right guys. It’s like he’s doing everything NFL Fantasy Live on NFL Network is telling everyone to do. Nobody knows what he’s capable of.. and that’s what makes him such a threat… John from Stockton, what’s going on?

John - Hey Scott BAO, thanks for taking my call, love the show, I hate it when you miss a week… anyway, which team has the most pressure to win this week?

Scott - Dave… haha… I mean, look, his matchup against Zuehlke is history in the making. For one, Z needs to win to stay in the Dance. So there’s already pressure there. But Dave is one loss away from having the worst record in WIG FF history (0-13) If Dave wins, he’ll tie the record (2011 - Z started the season 0-10 and finished 1-12) Either way, he already has the number 1 pick in the draft…. Dave you are on the clock…. Chester from Eagle Ridge, you’re on the show. What’s your question?

Chester - Heyyyyy Scottie BAO you’re lookin fine todayyy. mmmMmm… I just LOVE your voice teehee giggle giggle.

Scott - wait, is this Chester Grant? The guy that was on our last show?

Chester - Mmm Hmmm.. Just wanted to call and say Hi. I missed you over at Spikes Bar & Grill on Thursday night for the Packers/Lions game. Wish your cute tush was there so I could stick my finger in—

Scott - uhh I never said I was going to be there and I thought I told you you were banned from our show??

Chester - Krrchrrqqqqqfff ffffrkkkk fffpffffpfffpfffpffffpffp—

Scott - … hello? What’s that sound?

Chester - oh, sorry, that was my phone rubbing up and down on my adamantium bone—

Scott - aahhh, sick! What the fuuuu.. okay, next caller please. Frank from Dubuque you’re on the air, what’s your question?

Chester - nope. Still me Scott. My question is: Does BAO stand for Big Anus Orgasm?? Cause if it doesn’t, then I bet I could —

Scott - okay, sorry folks, but that’s the end of the show. Thanks for tuning in all season. I cannot wait to see who the next WIG FF champion will be!!

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